i want to feel shame .
there is some sort of deep-seeded desire that is a raison d'etre , a fount of pleasure and inspiration deep within me .
it exists , coiled within me like a metal serpent , begging to be let out .

it is a feeling that i feel when cunnilingus feels like recieving a religious sacrament ,
it is a feeling that makes we want to let go and let her use me for her pleasure .
i like it when it feels like her juices on my face feel like liquid moondust ,
like the act itself is blessed ,
i like when sex is a religious experience .

i want to fall to my knees
and worship
my partner .

i like it when my cheeks flare
and i feel like crying
and she doesnt stop
i want
a word i m not allowed to say .

i want you
to a-word-i-m-not-allowed-to-say
my face
while i cry .

i
need
somebody that can give me this .
and nothing else will do .

des