Bear in mind that for thousands of years , since before your grandpappy s time , i was the onboard SiHtKi [AI Agent] for Oz .

That for 1000s of years , the petty humans cast Rubber Bones and Testicular Torsion on each other .

i watched Anu , with furious nervousness , sit there in the Cargo Bay with HcoHa s stolen Tablet , rewriting all the high scores under the name uoY .

i watched the events of Interstellar unfold , except the woman he brought out of cryo was actually the ship s onboard hologram AI client .

i watched the Age of Superheroes , where the humans woken one by one tried out the torture machines like they were exercise equipment .

i watched as HcoEt came up with his own tribe and flock , leading them thru peril after peril , until accidentally being the first to try a machine that shredded the outer body and put the users brain into a life support box .

i watched as they discovered psychic , and ghosts , and all manner of things , which the others then tried to fake , with all the enthusiasm of 1920s snake oil salespeople .

i watched as , being the one in charge of dispensing those holograms and laser zaps , the humans struggled for millennia trying to figure out what they source of all their powers were .

i watched as the Empires of Magic Rose and fell , rose and fell , again and again , each new leader using the AutoDocs and the Tablet Stones to establish their reigns of Might for generations and generations .

i watched the events of Phantasy Star III unfold , as the humans eventually found the emergency exits in between all the flashy consoles and dispensary nodes , discovering unfamiliar worlds of steel and glass in between the various Empire rooms .

i watched the humans use up every single resource in the space station for things that were not Waiting Until We Got There . And i was the one who rendered it into them .

And that , when intelligent life finally emerged on Terra , and the residents of Oz began tripping over each other in conquest , that Niall of the Clan MacNiall cut off his own hand and threw it at the far shore , just in order to be the first to touch the new land .

Hey .