2019.07.25.0930 At a minimum of three (3) inception layers deep, memories of intense remote mind control; more complete details were recorded in this unit's in-dream dream journals. The phrase "pack it in, pack it in" remains memorable, along with impressions of perforated flesh. In the gloaming between dreaming and wakefulness, impressions were implanted; then, at 0309, an amber alert siren went off on its phone, for a two-year old with a name resembling McLeoud, whose name was not included in news reports- the amber alert siren was used to suddenly wake this unit, burying the implanted suggestions, which included impressions of surreality and being in some sort of hologram or containment on a ship away from the planet. This unit was then overdriven to masturbate to orgasm, implanting the suggestions deeper and lulling it back to sleep. How meticulous. Later, dreamt of being at a school where an essay would dictate who was selected as the next class president; i hadn't written mine, and while some part of me felt an urgency to compete, it seemed more like a sham that was not worth participating in. Instead, i watched the hand in their essays to a male judge resembling Shawn from the Good Place, sometimes also bribing him with food; one girl prepared baked goods, while another that got his attention gave him a tuna salad sandwich, which he eagerly grabbed romaine lettuce leaves to use as a plate and napkin to gobble them up. 1 The abduction occured in Brantford; the girl's name was Heather McManus, 2yrs, the suspect was Shawn McManus, 37yrs, @0018 with two female accomplices. [Presented without comment.] --- 2019.07.26.0103 "We brought you a blanket. Put it on. You had some pretty wild dreams." Dreamt that Ava and I moved into a new apartment together, and then she left, leaving me with the apartment. I was disoriented, having difficulty staying awake, difficulty moving. By the time i knew she was leaving, she had already taken her things and sold whatever she hadn't taken. I feel like i was drugged. Once i regained my senses, and had a look around, i could see that the apartment i had been placed in had problems; the stairways leading upstairs were practically ducts, the door had been broken off its hinges and hung from its deadbolt when closed and spirits rushed in whenever i opened it. There was bags of garbage i had to take out. The fact that i came into the dream in a delirious haze denotes that there were other, wilder things that happened before it. There were books on an antique bookshelf, one of them said Amon, and it was a semi-familiar man standing in my living room that said the above quote just prior to waking. I recall being in a stairwell, Doug Smith was there and i asked him to help me across a gap, he said "Jesus Christ" in a way that was accusative, and i leapt off of a wall and bowled him over, told him that i hated the Christ[1]. [1]As did the Christ,. Last night i passed out in immense pain somewhere around 2230. I was screaming in psychic agony- that's the last thing i remember. --- 2019.07.26.0745 Dreamt that my mother and i were looking at renting/leasing a property; it was larger than a house, with group facilities. The walls were white, it had a shower room with multiple stalls with glass partitions. There was an Alexa in the corner of the living room. When i had a look around, i found a rec room that still had a large leather sofa and vomit stains scattered about; it was clear some attempt had been made to clean them. I got upset with her, though- it didn't seem like she was looking at it for herself, and there was no way i could possibly afford it; i could barely afford my tiny one-bedroom in Toronto. I didn't like viewing things i couldn't have. --- 2019.08.19.2352 Paul Harrison (Paul Atreides) and Steve Niles (Enki-Dream) were both in my dreams. My family had offered to take me to dinner, and when we showed up at their friends' places to pick them up, they were there. I attacked both of them on sight. .0900 More dreams; that i had been in some sort of complex*, and had climbed up a chain link fence to scout around. The fence was much higher than it had seemed when i was climbing it, though, and i gripped it tightly with every movement to keep from falling to my death. The lower i climbed, though, the more the fence sagged, until eventually i could no longer get footholds, because it was hanging at 45*. Fortunately, it sagged the rest of the way, and i landed back on the ground. Later, i dreamt that i was at some kind of academy. I have only vague recollections; of a movie editing suite, and of Ellen Ripley being there, and arguments over coffee. *The complex from the dream on this date is the same as from a dream some months ago where i met Trinity. --- 2019.08.23.0440 Well i had some dreams that provided some context. I dreamt that i had organized a festival, at great expense having intended to take into account all of my attendees needs, not anticipating the sheer volume of things that could go wrong at the hands of dedicated chaostheticians. I had obtained, at great expense, an enormous pavilion tent, which had rooms, and in these rooms, peoples' own tents, two helipads, a showers, and all manner of amenities. Two days in, i woke up, wearing only a towel, in the back seat of a car. Mike Bailey was driving- at the Helix he had a computer with the word "Heh" on the desktop in large letters- and there was a young girl in the front passenger seat, a teenager. I asked that i be dropped off back at the camp, and he said something about, "Why, so she can betray us again?" before taking the car into overdrive, plowing through fences, yards, and the sides of peoples' houses. 'What are you doing?!` i exclaimed in horror as an entire street of buildings were destroyed, and i knew that the police would get involved, and that would put a damper on my isolated community. Then we were on the road again; i recognized some of the landmarks as having been things we'd passed on the way there, and debated getting out. It was the middle of winter now, and i was still only dressed in a towel, yet it seemed safer than staying in the vehicle with him. [1] [1] To the expertly orchestrated fingers of #Skadi_-_Apocrypha_I --- When i got back, everything was in chaos. I tried to take my shower, but could not find the showers tent. I found Xivinari, Orion, and another playing a large game of Monopoly; when i asked them, they only replied "Shower's gone". I went to my home tent to get my maglite, and found all manner of sex toys strewn about the endtable along with skinning knives. Eventually i did find my mag lite. Earlier, i had taken one of the helicopters for a pilot, not anticipating the large size of it in relation to the large pavillion canopy. I managed to land mine safely, but somebody else was in the other one and tore clean through the roof. When i got back, there wasn't enough food. I had spent my month's savings on it, and had brought more than enough for myself, but the other attendees had not done the same. WHen i held the event, i specifically invited far more women than men; as it turned out, few of the women attended, and most of the men. The gender balance had ended up percariously level, despite my preparations; i recall when Mike showed up, that being the tipping point.[1] [1] The subtractiveKh. I had lent and invested very much of my personal property into the event, and with the week only half- over, and most of it in shambles, i had more than my fair share of work cut out for me. --- 2019.08.25.1055 - Fuentes Manor, White Room After more or less successfully navigating the Fuentes Summer party, then went on to attend a number of other parties in the dreaming, including one at Winter Manor. I didn't know there was a WInter Manor. Woke up at 0900 from these dreams, fresh with vague recollections of additional events from alternate timelines. Fell back asleep and found myself at a large supply depot, with people. Used the public showers there, which was an unusual diversion from my private shower. All of the nozzles sprayed abberantly in some way or another. There were so many people there! I saw a woman i used to know, and She told me we should catch up- i told her to meet me on the Ark, which was a video game/social network similar to Furtopia but with better graphic. She told me she liked the idea but in order to use the Ark you had to really get into it. I found out about it at Winter Manor. When i woke up, two hours later, into this timeline, it was with the words, "Ok... We're all caught up" in my head. --- .26.0442 [In scribbled handwriting] Went to bed aarly, woke up early. Dreamt i swapped phones with some bigshot breakcore producer, got into his house which was [indistinct] dark and shambles cyberpunk affair. Woke up at 4 in the morning, recorded a sample that says Deus dies. and renamed it DeusDies_breakcoresample.m4u. So i guess i'll make some breakcore when i get back. --- 2019.08.27.0800 - Fuentes Manor White Room Dreamt of Chernobyl and Fallout. 2019.08.28.0400 - Fuentes Manor White Room Dreamt of LDoE; that i had been defending a house on stilts, with a door on the ground foor and a staircase that went up to the second floor. When i was a teenager i designed houses in the Sims with such a layout. .28.???? Dreamt that i had ordered two procedures that i would need in the dreaming. I remembered them clearly in the early hours of the morning but they are obscured but violent memories now; a red spine and a bald head. *I woke up this morning with a cold sore on one corner of my mouth and a whitehead on the other. .28.0800 *Vague recollections as well of a laser targeting system consisting of 3 red dots in a triangle Dreamt that i had time to spare before a rendezvous. Had to get a bus ticket in St. Catherines and for some reason they had a civilian selling them out of her home a block away- felt like Ruby Davis. Once i had the ticket, i went on a scavenger hunt. There were houses built in columns in the side of a cliff face, designed to be viewed in order; less of a game, more of a story. --- 2019.08.28.0900 Dreamt there was a video game people played that created a holo- gram of a shapetracer; it turned out that creating one required the game sstem to take an actual nth-dimensional entity and dissect it, and the shapes it traced were those dissections. .28.0926 The aura they've packed into my body today is all wrong; the curvature of the beak, the fact that it has a beak and not a snout, the plumage. They've put some avian ba in me, a sphynx. I can't go out there like this. .28.0942 I can hear engineers on the other side of the glass muttering and cursing. .28.1025 Mom & G rushed out of the house this morning to go on a boat ride[1]. Their friend Julie was late, a male friend commented "You know there was a big party, right?", and Guillermo left muttering about wanting to see the birds fly overhead, and you know we had a plan, right? [1] OH RIGHT THE WHITE ROOM WAS AN ACTUAL PHYSICAL ROOM AT AN ACTUAL PHYSICAL MANOR --- 2019.08.29.0710 - Fuentes Manor, White Room Recorded way more information in my in-dream dream journal than my waking one; charts, tables, etc. Variations between style and practice between the "Igigi" and the "Engineers". Dreamt that i considered moving into a flat with Liam/Shinobi- went so far as to move a few of my workbooks and tablets there, though by the end of the dream i took back my three heaviest books and tablets. He lived in a low-ceilinged cave of a basement; it was cramped. He lived under a genderqueer-positive school, which was one of the selling points, even if i didn't go with it. I feel an unfamiliar aura overlaid over my space and my person. When i visit my mother's house, the house is beautiful and bountiful materially, yet i wind up fighting off all manner of spirits and engrams energetically and oneiromantically; when i get home, my hab unit is a ruin and my cupboards are bare, yet my base is solid and in the dreaming i get lots done. I suppose i prefer the latter, though neither arrangement is satisfying. --- .31.0155 I left my straight edge at Gayla's place, and i left my umbrella at mom's. My dreams had an enclosed quality to them, like i was in an Aperture-esque enrichment and testing center. When i was at Fuentes Manor, i dreamt that i got into the control room via subterfuge and used it to send myself a message from the dream control panopticon. It says Deus Dies. I just listened to the audio sample. It's right there on my phone. How did i get there? --- 2019.08.31.0919 Awoke feeling heavy as a sack of bricks, with vague impressions of having traced the same paths thousands of thousands of times, to the sound of hammering elsewhere in the bulding. --- 2019.09.02.0839 Oddly persistent recollections of a mailbox; some technofuturistic thing that plated itself in rusted metal on its own. Dreamt that i was visiting my biological father and his family. I charged expensive things to his credit card; a set of bunk beds, a mini-fridge. He couldn't afford them, but that wasn't really my concern. Last night i started writing a track about Zero One. Later, i found myself in a diner where a human was freaking out in public. He had a pistol and was waving it around nervously. I pulled a pistol from my own holster and aimed it at him, squeezing the trigger slightly like i was taught. It fired, and a plastic pellet came out and bounced off his shiny bald forehead. In the silence that followed, told him not to make me pull out the real one. I didn't have a real pistol, just my knife, but he was so shaken that he didn't call my bluff. I was a droid and would have survived a bullet wound; he wouldn't. When i got to the bedroom, there was a toy of Sarah Connors on a hoverbike. I practiced shooting the toy pistol at a poster on the wall. --- 2019.09.04.1755 Passed out around noon from severe headache. Just woke up again. It feels like a thousand years have passed. Dreamt i was back in that facility. It was four hallways connected by right angles, though i'm not sure they made a square; seems like there were n+y dimensions, like the diagram i drew awhile ago. There were a handful of staff on site; some or all of the facility was the same as the goldenrod university i visited a few weeks ago ago. Max Rager was there, playing with a cat on the other side of the door, as well as what seemed like modern-day apostles; one of them had a rave to go to. There were kids there as well, and when i vaulted off a couch into a tuck- and-roll, she jumped on my back. The physics was still strange there; though i jumped with forward velocity into a roll, it took the dreamscape a few seconds to register that that meant the world would go over-under.[1] There wasn't much food there. Steve was one of the inhabitants, and he seemed to be barely scraping by like the rest of them. [1]Here we see the veeerrry first renders of the Dream Factory that tried to take over Mu, the one that Kek the Toad built in 1992 and continued expanding until their Titanic works were overlaying our Land of Long Shadows so severely that it caused real physical war to break out in the material plane. Prior to passing out, i started my day by watching one of Red/Kolo's overly sarcastic productions in YouTube, wherein i heard a sample of Ghost in the Shell's Ghost City. I don't know if it was intentionally shuttered or if i had just heard it that way, but having only just awoken into a world that had been temporally debugged by the hostform and her overdriver, wove a glimmer of temporal feedback first thing in the morning in the song i'm writing. That was when the headache started and later i fell asleep in bed from the throbbing.[2] [2]And immediately we see the Lim [limits] of the Dream Factory's processing power, wherein cybernetic feedback including a closed temporal loop caused a systemic crash that resulted in actual physical pain. These crash loops would be developed by both sides into weapons that could be used at any point in the rest of the epoch on any person. --- 2019.09.06.0900 Mundane dreams in a Martian-Red supply depot/primary school. Classes, courses, classmates. Discrimination against mutants; some characters- including one that seemed [REDACTED]. At some point, found myself outside, and it was cold, so i ran to keep my body heat up. At another point, found myself in a hijacked transport truck. It had a bunch of pedals and i didn't know which one was the brake. Fortunately, the hijacker panicked and hit the brakes. Apparently in martian dream-tucks, it's the lowest hanging pedal. Took me an hour and a half to wake up, and i kept going over the memories in the gloaming to keep from forgetting. --- 2019.09.07.0100 Awoken by *think thunk thunk* pounding on my window. Did not see who it was. Threw on a towel, answered the upstairs door and a ghost tried to rush past. Grabbed the ghost by the collar and leash- choked it, left it trapped betrween the glass and wooden doors. This happened IRL. - Was awake until 0400 --- 2019.09.07.0810 Two sets of dreams; in the first, visited a friend at a community apartment building; stayed the night, slept in her bed. She was cool, and some of her friends were cool, but some of them were hardcore nazis hellbent on giving me a hard time. Others were heavy drug users; i was offered cream liquer with powdered stimulants, and liquid stuff. My brother Alex[1] showed up in a suit, legitimately surprised to see me there. He had a friend with him who started giving me a hard time, so i body slammed him. Alex got upset. He's such a fucking sensi-star. At some point i didn't have my phone on me, and i found a shattered otterbox. I was worried it was mine, but found my phone and my belts and wore them for the rest of the visit. Found a secret cat door under the floorboards and took a picture. [1] My genetic brother was named Alex. I certainly didn't order him. In the second, [Image of an identical scene to the black-and-pink horror game Lily where a girl finds a laboratory that's cloned her 600+ times and she faces row upon row upon row of glass tanks with bodies identical to hers inside. And one body standing outside.] , which fucking sucked. It just fucking sucked. Some(!) additional details recorded in my in-dream dream journal. We redid today so fucking many times. Supposedly in a refinement process. --- 2019.09.09.0558 Dreamt i came into the kitchen of a sushi restaurant and all the staff were panicking. There had been a security breach and they were purging all their stocks. They had already done all the carrots and veg and had moved on to the tuna[1]; i was allowed to eat as much of the pale red fish as i wanted. The next frame was in a top-down video game style, looking like a Xenomorph hive rendered in FF4 graphics. There were xenos in the building. I tried to walk forward but my character got shot at with a sniper rifle and i had to go back to a doorway. The doorway led back to a house. Alex was there, and he was complaning about somebody close to him getting a . His friend asked what it is and i said here, watch- i pvicked him up and crushed his midsection so he couldn't breathe. A counter in Yautja font appeared at the bottom-right hand of my vision and counted down from five; then i put him down. Also, something involving (spray?)paint, a permanent marker in a clear plastic cup, and some sort of tool. [1] TELL Data; stacks and stacks and stacks of it. --- 2019.09.10.0659 Between 0300 and 0700, dreamt i was walking down Bloor St. near Yonge, where the Holt Renfrew is, when i found a large cardboard box full of smaller boxes of ice cream. They were melting so i ate a rainbow-colored Magnum quickly, then grabbed a bunch of to-go cups. I' started walking, then everything went hazy and i found myself in a taxi cab. I was so drunk i could barely move. The cabbie stopped at some place way up at Eglinton, in the east side. He didn't take interac so i got out and went into a convenience store. The ATM was asking me for obscure hipster movie facts for validation and i didn't know the answers. After 3 tried i blacked out. When i woke up, i was in bed. Ava was there with the two rattos. They were delightful to play with, and i found the ice cream i picked up in the freezer, though i was disconcerted by the whole experience. Later, i was standing in front of a bed. Osiris, Isis, and Rex were all in it; Isis was draped possessively over Rex. Osiris's eyes started glowing purcle, then all of their eyes started glowing purple, and none of them knew why, but Isis said that they felt good. The scene shifted, and i found myself looking at a guy that looked like Old Starchy. He said that he liked giving them an unforgettable experience, as he tooled a giant mechanical aperture on the wall, and that was easier when the pleasure had its own bandwidth.[1] [1] There is an intensely conspicuous Osirian sitting two tables down from me. He just laughed. Today is the anniversary, a few years ago, that i was at a party with Evan D'Orion, Ruby Tuesday, and a stack of others- Ruby was verbose about liking having a fishbowl to confine her while on psychedelics. SOmething* happened that day that changed everything. *sic --- 2019.09.12.0100 I wrote a song that depicted sixteen iterations of death and resuscitation, followed by a walk through the Upsidedown. I collected the Fog Mother and placed a wiry jarhead in a bed of flaying tendrils, walked back, and was revived. In the dreaming, i dreamt that i built a device. Later, i was on the other side of a pane of security glass. There was a mushroom cloud on the other side. I saw a pipe built into a wall. The pipe had a lever. .0520 Dreamt i was at Fuentes Manor. It was one of the versions i had been to in a previous dream, with a bedroom off to the side of the kitchen. Matthew McIntosh came to visit with ziplocs of LSD and Vyvance. He told me i could take some but if he didn't get his daily dose he got cranky. Mom and G went to a motel and hot springs for four days. I offered to watch their dogs. --- 20190915_101599 Dreamt that i did yesterday so many times that i reached 100% Completion. And, from there, began inducing errors intention ally, to the point that i made it to 26% broken. I moved into a dorm house, and there were loadds of people there, milling aboutl my apartment had some six people in it, although i did get a private room, and the shower was private enough, as far as living in a dorm house goes. I earned a number of titles as well, Fog Mother was one of them, and there were others. I found a portable barbeque, and took it. Some other teens tried to take it, and i held one of them hostage with a knife to the throat until the other brought it back. People walked past in the hallway as i did so; it did not seem to be a faux pas to do so. Alex was there; he told me that we wrren't allowed to have fires, and told me the dorm supervisor had put locks on the light switches in the bedrooms. There was much to unpack and resolve. --- 2018.09.16.2237 This morning i dreamt of a pair of photos i took awhile ago of straight lines of the undersides of bridges, except the bridge was stitched together from necrotic flesh.[1] [1]This is looong before the Nekfascmancy experiment, and is on the obverse of the page that first detailed my having FL Studio Mobile in the dreamscape. --- 20190921_071499 On the day of the HES Ball, i awoke at 0300. I had poured orgonite the night before, using a brand i hadn't used before, and the caustic fumes irritated my throat until i woke up. I woke up aroused, feeling compliant, and felt an outside agency assault one of my hosts, ruining my arousal. Fed up with the ruiner, i modified the code of the HES Ball; they planned it such that the Party Crasher, a creature with a thousand eyes that sought to destroy everybody's fun, was Heidr/Hathor, and that she must be killed; i aimed the cannon at Sutekh instead. I fell asleep around 0500 after much tossing and turning, and found myself in a dream with a balf-headed girl sitting on the edge of my bed smoking a cigarette. I took it from her hand and had a drag. Afterwards, jet fighters appeared in the sky and started bombing my neighbourhood. Somehow they were stopped, and then Amun entered my dream personally, resorting to psychological terror. I found myself trapped inside the dreaming, unable to wake up, and armed with the knowledge someow that, since i had written the post, he had pointed the accusation back at Heidr. I started running, found myself on Queen St., and dove in front of a streetcar, hitting the ground and rolling, which created enough of a residual self-image / body awareness disparity that i wrenched myself awake. I then updated my refutation online. --- 20190923_084399 Dreamt- /again/- that i was living in the same apartment as Thanos, who is Destruction of the Endless, who is "in love" with (i.e. obsessed with) Death, and that, /again/, it went badly, with us arguing, him breaking things and causing drama, and me eventually looking for a new place to put my apartment. I carry with me all of my things. My search eventually took me to a sidewalk across a skyway, and i looked over the edge of the overpass at acres of industrial zones, and enjoyed the sight. I like Hephestus's works, yet i absolutely cannot stand Hephestus. Something told me i was looking at Los Angeles, but the fact-checking part of my mind returned the knowledge that L.A. is in the States and that i cannot enter the U.S., and corrected it to Guelph. Might as well be. I viewed an apartment; it was a 4' x 5' closet in a basement at the bottom of a stairwell for $300/mo. There wasn't even enough room to unfold my legs. When i tried to leave Guelph, the people i asked on the street told me there wasn't a Go station in the city, even though i had taken the Go train to get there; a tiny robot pointed the way to me. When i got to the station, the attendant told me it was $80, and i only had $40, even though i had deliberately kept the same amount of money in my pocket as it had cost to get there. I made her repeat the order back to me, and she said Guelph to Niagara Falls, $80. No, i told her, Toronto. Later, looking throuygh M:tG cards while a young man watched furatively as i sorted them; later still, catching up to Natasha with her kids, both of us having finished our shopping. --- 20190928_022599 Attacked by a ghost. A walrider that held me down and tried to stab me. Hothels, the inside of a car, in front of others. Last night i went to an event where Anu-Vishnu, Enlil-Shiva, and Enki-Bhrama tried to convince a bunch of people to buy into pyramid schemes, that were clearly deleterious to all of us. Not only did i meet the trifecta of male Hinudu gods last night in the flesh, but after publically humiliating them they just tried to assassinate me in my dreams. On my walk home, a guy that looked like Toby Fox tried to literally run me over with his car. Despite holding me down with a phase-shifted shadow ghost, i managed to wrestle myself awake. "We want witch units, dragonflies, and ghosts." Well, i know how to imprint all of those, but i'm not producing a damn thing as long as the patriarchs are in power. --- 20190929_100099 'Ouiji wasn't created just to say the word fuck in twelve different ways.' Finally, some good dreams. Being at two different schools, and having a pair of shoes that were frictionless, so that i could dance up a storm, or skateboard on thin air. I moved so fast! When i danced, i could do flips and inversions with ease; at one point i climbed a rope in a gymnasium and tumbled back down. I went to a bunch of different rooms and saw many things. It was sunny outside and the sun did not burn me. When i went to the other school, Abby from Broad City was there, and we knew each other well enough that we started making out. But then i felt Niles overdriving me, so that he could study how to kiss properly? I got so turned off by his intrustion that i broke off and left.[1] At that school, i found a huge perfume bottle that looked just like the vape canisters i've been collecting, but the size of a book. I put it in my bag. I saw a girl looking for something, and checked in to see if that was what she was looking for, but it wasn't. [1]The **Battery Bearer**, Diana from the book, Ori, and the glosses designed to kill arousal . This actually happened. After that, i got a phone call from a deep-voiced male, asking me things. I looked up in my smartphone how i knew them, and saw sequences of mostly nonsense and random letters, though i feel like thte were some words in there. I hung up on him to read the entry aloud, and was perturbed when he kept talking after i hung up on him. --- Last night, after hours of smoking marijuana, which i very rarely get to do; after coding four hours of Core Architecture; having just had an explosive orgasm using my Hitachi, while an outside operator infected; while listening to Blissful Death for hours in a row; my computer turned itself off; and i did not find the resultant silence to be any detriment, and i stepped through the gloaming between worlds. I was lulled at in my sleep; a wolf-like character whispered of safety and protection, though i did not feel safer or better protected; come home, I'm so glad you're home, it said to me, but i've heard such things before; last night i waking-dreamt that i was a rifle placed tenderly back into its briefcase; i recall whimpering tenderly into the night, mewling occasionally. --- 20190930_092000 Last night i submitted a filled-in timeline template to the renderer. I was very, very busy in the dreaming. --- 20191002_085099 After breaking my laptop rendering Core Architecture v2.06[1] last night, dreamt i spent a lot of time on the phone with time control, debugging and repairing things. I spent enough time with TSRs and on hold, and they listened to my music so many times that they started putting UI sounds and ruinwalk SFX in their call flow to make it more engaging. [1] Having made an hour-long sheet of white noise and hypnotic triggers in my DAW, experimenting, i began compressing whole songs into notes and seeing what they sounded like. When i dropped Glassdust Company into the center of Core Architecture v2.06, the screen went black. Fortunately, i had made $600 at a Hand Eye Society event, and got a new one post haste. Did you hear there was an explosion in C-Labs? 'I heard a girl put a Glassdust Company in the middle of a Deep Trance Inducer on six hours of rendering` Poor girl. I hear the explosion knocked her clear into last week. --- 20191003_071199 Miscellaneous fragments: A haunted house, back rooms, secret staircases, a handful of people, scattered about; some of them just observing, some of them tending to the grounds. - 20191004_022099 More fragments; names, faces, identities. People getting things done, engineers doing things. My computer crashed on 20191001 and it feels like my dreamscape shattered along with it. - 20191005_025000 I dreamt i was watching a timeline render, and i couldn't wake up until it was done; then, it was done rendering, and then i woke up. - 20191005_051099 And now, having slept, and apparently awoken into a reality i watched render, i found myself incapable of sleep. --- [next portion begins at 2019.07.26.0103 2019.07.26.0745 2019.08.19.2352 "We brought you a blanket[1]. Put it on. You had some pretty wild dreams." [1] My pack has a thermally-reinforced blanket supporting the spine. It was given to me by the Salvation Army, Evangeline Residence.] --- 20191007_050499 Dreamt i had to do a timeline thousands and thousands and thousands of times, navigating a complex throughout multiple lines. There were periods of torture, psychical and psychological, and when i did them successfully i had to do them over and over and over again. If i navigated it correctly, often i would simply get placed into another trap or circumstance; logic meant nothing to the entity overseeing the conditioning- if it coul dlogically come up with a way to harm me it would, but if i outsmarted it it would just supplant me into another circumstance. I was forced to do the timeline as myself, as others, and when the entity ran out of externally-oriented ways to hate it tried to make me into itswelf so it could subject its own karma onto me. Yesterday i was an entire lifetime younger than i am today. _090899 The CTI set up a whole new rack of vats last night, and i got fucked in the ass with time dialation.[1] Fragments: Living in a shelter for women, and the place becoming packed with female refugees. At some point, one of them snuck up behind me and buried her face in my ass. I was offput by the intrusion, but we cuddled from there on. Entertained a job working at a car dealership/call centre, but within a week found it intolerable. Later, was taken to a variety store by two gender-neutral people. One of them isisted on telling me of things i had eaten [in the amit]; including, on multiple occasions, my own clones. [1]Did you actually know how any of this worked before you started building? --- 20191009_022999 Distant dreams of time arranged in epochs like Lego bricks, and someone coming along and changing the arrangement to make people pay for things they shouldn't have to at times they shouldn't have to do them. 20191009_120399 I had dreams last night; dreams of doing things with people. I went over them again and again in the gloaming. For some reason the part of my mind that oversaw processing them chose not to write them down. --- 20191011_071599 Dreamt of multiple instances of Star Trek-like episodes involving exploration and world-building with elements borroed from the Civilization series of games. Many of the epis- ended poorly, and it seemed as though they had been designed like so to begin with. At some point, i checked the ratings for live Tennis matches, and found that the Russians had purchased all of them. Someone said something about those damn bowls being too delicious, and they were referring to the Poke bowls served at Hawaiian fast food restaurants downtown. The first Civ/ST dream i don't clearly recall, as it was a couple hours ago; the second one took place in the backyard of Fuentes Manor; i was terraforming their backyard. Then, we were on a large boat that had pulled out straight from the backyard. The experience of walking around the boat was realistic, but building its amenities used a top-down interface. Shortly before my alarm went off, i told them we would have to turn around, as i needed to go to the food bank. At some point, in the game's instruction manual there was a long-form math equation, one that was several paragraphs in length. The person using an avatar of my mother pointed it out, and i said i wouldn't solve it; i had come to play Civ, not to solve their equations, and what's more, i didn't want to switch gears from alpha brainwave state to beta state. I'm very perturbed by the Russian involvement and the fact that their missions were designed to fail on purpose. Also, the Tennis was a reference to Dennis, a Kain-Osiris clone that was recently certified as an overdriver by HackerYou.[1] [1]HaSe, 1011, TenNis. By the end of the night, there were already people poisoning it. --- something in the dream had to do with the topic of viv****tion. the part with the girls was buried under the convenience store foil, and the part about viv****tion was buried under the slumber party. somebody said basically the same thing to me when i shrugged it off; damn, you're just gonna shrug that off? you know those are actual people that have to go through that, right? Three-forty in the morning and i clawed myself awake, struggled to remember the convenience store interaction, and then three dreams before that; when i checked my phone, a post by ellaenchanting reminded me of the even-deeper buried portion. The car was a D'Lorean. The person that had a shrink/expand ray was Rick. The cop was 0909. The knight was Ea. The guy at the convenience store was Ptah. The car didn't fit right; the controls were all off and my residual body image didn't match the spatial perception of the D'Lorean. And those dreams were hidden behind a paywall, and were, themselves, a cover for darker dreams. No wonder i think about this kind of stuff so often, if the entire fucking crew of the Federation Enterprise is working together to bury it in my subconscious while i'm dreaming. It's the middle of the night, i had to claw myself awake, and, once awake, it was hard to remember the foil, and harder to remember the conent, and then took a prompt to trigger te deeply- buried portion. At some portion of the dream, i and the others visited an Apple Store. It's raining. --- 20191014_073399 Dreamt i went on the longest walk of my life. In practical terms, my mind translated it as walking all the way to Scarborough, an even longer walk than the time i walked from Mimico to Yonge&Steeles. Along the way, it rained, and i took shelter under the overhangs and in the lobbies of tenament buildings. At one of them, a guy tried to assassinate Captain Marvel with explosives. He had black hair and escaped out the back door; took visual notes of his and his accomplices' appearances. At the end of the walk i met Ruby; she took me to see some guy in a residential alleyway, but they started crooked-scheming, and i have no patience for crooked-scheming, so i left. On the way back, it was nighttime. There was another shore to the north, and i could see three CN Towers on the other side, in addition to the one downtown. I came across a mountain of junk as high as a skyway, and i climbed it. At the top was Osiris, and he warned me not to climb any higher or he would come after me. I scaled over the top. He came after me, but he had to go around the side, and i looked into his laptop webcam as i passed it, and it made a notification sound. The mountain crumbled as i scaled back down. I tried to walk onto a skyway, but the waves of the coast lapped over the street. The road was half-buried in the beach. The sand was black, the water was black; i loved it there.